Hold me
by CarlaConnor13
Summary: Carla's nightmares plague her and there's only one person that can keep them away. *Set after her suicide attempt in 2015 and the Victoria Court fire*


**For my friend, _Corriescarla _ and _Connorsdingle_****, hope you enjoy it and that it does what you imagined justice. Initially, it was going to be shorter than my normal oneshots, but that quickly went out of the window after I planned it all out.**

_She couldnt breathe._

_The smoke filled her lungs, making her gargle and splutter, eyes streaming and skin burning. The fire grew before her, the door separating her and it being blasted away. She tried to scream, but it felt like she was drowning._

_The fire twisted and turned on the floor, licking up towards Carla who was pressed into the wall, no exits left. Blocked by the fire; she was trapped. Forced to endure a fate to match the one she subjected Kal to. The flames flickered and popped meninecly, morphing to a figure._

_The incandescence formed the frame of Kal, his face disfigured and eyes glaring. He strode towards her, palm of embers crackling as he closed it tightly around her neck_.

_Carla could hear the muffled encouraging shouts from her neighbours, as her face paled and she jerkily grasped at the wall beside her, reaching for something she couldn't remember, to stop the burning pain she could feel wrapping her whole being._

_They were the voices of Sophie, malice lacing the shouts as she vowed to avenge her girlfriend taken from her by the woman captured in the deathly grip of a ghost. Ironically, the voice of Maddie joined her, alongside Leanne and Alya; egging Kal on as life she started to drift out of consciousness._

She came awake in the dark, blinking quickly and eyes fractic, searching for the figure through the fleeting darkness. Carla was never afraid of the dark, but now, om the cusp of a nightmare, it suffocated her, the weight of it heavy on her shaking body, the fear of what could be lurking within the shadows.

It was a moment before the rush of adrenaline dissipated out of her body, heart rate stilling slightly as she realised that the bed where she lay was Michelle's.

'It was a dream' she told herself, cursing for letting herself be reduced to this trembling mess. 'But it wasnt a dream though, was it? The fire still happened. Kal and Maddie were still. Dead'

Rolling over she pressed her face to the pillow, in an attempt to cool her clammy face, wishing herself to drift off again, body plagued with fatigue.

Her mind reeled, refusing to allow her to fall into a slumber, a imminent nagging sensation that is prominent at the back of her head. 'What if it wasn't a dream? What if the house catches fire while you sleep?'

Eventually, she threw the covers back on the bed, creeping towards the door, pulling it open silently and viewing the darkened figure slumped on the couch, bringing a sense of ease immediately to Carla.

When Carla had revealed to Michelle that she'd amost jumped off the unforgiving quarry, she'd insisted that Carla stay the night at hers. Giving up her bed, despite protests from the older woman, so now resting on the sofa in the living room, as to give her some much needed space. Carla hadn't told her what Tracy disclosed on the quarry edge, fearful as to what speaking it alloud might mean.

Deciding space is not what she desired, especially from the woman now asleep in close proximity to her, now stood only a few metres away from where she lay on the couch; she slowly approached, careful to make no noise.

Careful to not disturb the slumber of the younger woman, face peaceful in the glow of the lamp, Carla lifted the edge of the double blanket that covered her form. She slipped herself inbetween Michelle and the backrest of the sofa. Snuggling her back firmly to Michelle, she settled herself down, resting her head close to the other woman.

While still asleep, Michelle moved subconsciously into Carla to embrace her, lazily draping her arm across the womans stomach protectively. Carla found herself easily drifting off now, safe in the knowledge that she wasn't alone. She was protected.

It was where they now lay, Michelle curled protectively around Carla on the sofa in her living room, one leg inbetween Carla's; both asleep, worries of the day lost in a haze of peaceful fantasies. Instinctly, Michelle's arms wrapped firmly around her best friend, keeping her close, for fear that she'd dissipate through her grasp. Here one second, gone the next.

Anyone watching the two together would dare to say they were happy, worry free and tranquil. When awake; they might reconsider.

Carla's mind once again wondering, as she slept, images and scenarios flooding her subconscious.

_Carla was watching a scene unfold below her. She was watching over someone as they slept on a couch. She only recognised the place as her own flat before the fire, when the brunette tresses fell from the face of the woman._

_Her heartrate increased dramatically and her breath caught hazardly in her throat, a lump forming._

_The woman she was watching was herself. It was an eerie feeling, although she was concsious, she was watching herself sleep; as if passing through from life to death, half alive, half dead._

_A door opened and Carla watched Amy potter over to the bathroom, stopping to glance over at the sleeping Carla. Her stomach knotted in realisation that this was the night of the fire she was been subjected to watch._

_A figure entered, face hidden by the darkening flat, the light from the moon having been secluded by the clouds, refusing to betray the identity of the person now stood above Carla. She couldn't move to stop them, paralyzed, as she could do nothing but watch as they moved; bending down to pick up a photo from the sidetable._

_The picture itself was of Rob, beaming at the camera, clad in his new adidas t-shirt he'd recieved. Seemingly angered at it, the figure strode across the room, picking something else up before returning to stand above the sleeping woman._

_The intruders actions were confusing Carla, watching as they confidently walked around, picking items and lighting Amy's candle. What was their motive?_ _At the beginning, she'd assumed it was Kal again, haunting her from his grave in yet another nightmare, but why would Kal be angered at Rob's picture. It was all very confusing to the watching woman_.

_Watching as she stirred in her own sleep, fear struck the brunette as the figure moved the object above their head_.

_The clouds appeared to part as a beam of luminosity hit the face of the assilant, showing the glare in her eye and the metal trophy she held above her head glistened in the moonlight._

_Tracy stood silently, unmoving, as if second guessing her moves._

_Carla was shocked._

_Yes, Tracy had admitted to breaking in and starting the fire, but Carla had been hesitant to beleive her, convincing herself that she lied to keep Carla from jumping._

_Maybe that's what this was. This dream. Solidifying that she was innocent, and that this womam stood above her was at fault after all._

_The toilet flushed, startling Tracy who brought the trophy quickly back to her chest, before placing it back on the counter and leaving the room._

_Carla, still watching, released a breathe she didn't realise she was holding. Amy scurried back from the bathroom, not noticing the lit candle in her haste to get back to the comfort of the bed._

_The setting changed; morphing from flat to flat, Carlas to Michelle's, grey tones to white. This time Tracy was already there, poised with the same trophy, ready to bring it heavily down on Carla._

_"Wait." Carla thought._

_She wasn't alone on the couch, Michelle curled up behind her, her arm clad in the red pyjamas she had been wearing that night above the blanket._

_"Wait." This was now._

_She was looking down at where they lay this moment outside the dream._

_Tracy beside them, weilding a dead weight above their vulnerable sleeping bodies._

She awoke with a start, breathing laboured and ragged, looking around again, this time for Tracy's lean figure looming. Her skin was damp with cold perspiration that beaded on her hot skin. Feeling Michelle's front pressed into her back she found her hand with her own, gripping tightly, trying to hold back tears that threatened to spill from her squinted eyes, blurring the couch in front of her.

Michelle stirred, groaning with the pressure Carla had on her hand. Sensing the younger woman had woken, Carla twisted, turning her body to face Michelle's, now stomach to stomach. Eyes peered tiredly down at her, laced with confusion as to why she was there in the first place, moved from where she'd left her sleeping in the bed. Guilt rose in Carla's stomach for disturbing the tallee Connor.

'Michelle', Carla breathed, looking up at her, eyes glassy and with a pleading look. The younger women slowly let out a breath of air through her nose, smiling down at her. "What baby? What's wrong".

"I. I'm. I'm" Carla paused, breaking eye contact with the taller woman, looking down her body, almost shamefully. Michelle saw her the look on Carla's feature's, leaning forward and pressing a lingering kiss to her forehead, before bopping her nose lightly with her little finger; causing airy laughter to bubble from the older woman, "Hey, come on Car. You can tell me".

Hesitation sparkled in Carla's eyes, tears now threatening to spill over the lids. "I'm scared Chelle! I'm. So. Scared" she spoke quietly, voice cracking and face screwing up trying to stem the tears. Though they were close already, Michelle used her arm to manoeuvre herself even closer to the fragile woman, burying her head in the crook of her neck; tightening her grip on her and rubbing her back probatively.

"When I was on the edge of that quarry; and Tracy told me the truth. I couldn't help but think that it wouldnt make any difference. That I'd still killed Kal and Maddie, that everyone still blamed me, some even wanting me dead. But, most of all, I just imagined Tracy. Stood above me when I slept. She had this evil glint in her eye and was holding this trophy." She stopped, inhaling tightly and roughly wiping tears from her face. "She could have killed me Chelle that night, and a part of me thinks, what if, she tries it again? I'm scared; so so scared Michelle", crying freely now, shuddering with anticipation.

"What truth baby?" Michelle mumbled slowly, still unaware as to just what had been disclosed last night on the quarry between the two woman.

Sensing that there was something else bugging her best friend, she reached up to wipe her eyes, and brush stray hairs from her face, which had concealed her eyes from meeting Michelle's.

Carla shook her head and Michelle didn't push her. She knew it would come out, but her priority was making her friend feel safe again. "Carla, I nees you to know that I wont let anything hurt you, okay? Not even you. I promise I am going to keep you safe until the day I die. And that, missus, isn't going to be for a long long time, right? Not until we're both sat in a nursing home, watching '_flipping_ _chess' _and actually enjoying it!" This anology caused Carla to break into a smile, a quiet giggle leaving her lips as she pictured it

"okay? Im going to keep you safe, and you're going to keep me safe, like we always have, **I love you Carla Connor**, and you're not going anywhere".

Carla had relaxed, now peering up at her through admiration filled eyes.

"Hold me?" Carla's hopeful voice whispered, barely audible but Michelle heard. She moved to embrace the older, smaller woman, wrapping one arm around her midriff, one leg tangling itself in Carla's, letting her bury her head into her chest; other arm free to press to Carla's hair, smoothing her hair down and keeping her as close as possible.

Michelle could hear a relaxed sigh from Carla, before she spoke again within the hold of the person who grounded her.

"You're good at this."

At this remark, Michelle couldn't help but ask what she did next. She should have gotten over it by now, but she still was plagued by how she was second best to the man who'd hurt her so very much.

To Peter.

The way she ran to him when something was wrong. Instead of to her.

"Better than Peter?"

She was hopeful, sensing it was evident in her pleading tone. She knew it was unfair, to want Carla to be single all the time. But she figured, if she was single, then they could be together more, and she could keep her best friend safe.

She'll always keep her safe.

"Always. There's no one like you Chelle"

Michelle squeezed her, the only response either of them needed.

The biggest reminder of their love was the fact words were never needed. They only needed each others touch, to be able to hold each other.

To keep each other safe.

Michelle waited, listening to Carla's breathing level out and become peaceful, the occasional rise and fall of her chest against her own.

It disnt matter that Carla was harboring a secret from her that might in fact change everything from her. For now, she was content in the knowledge that Carla was safe, and happy, and most importantly, back in her arms.

Where she belonged.

Where she'd _always _belong.


End file.
